Hey Oscar

Its almost time for the Oscars and not wanting to look like an idiot, the girlfriend and I having been boning up on all the Oscar hopefuls. We do this so we can scream at the TV absurd things to each other like:

" I can't believe Alice in Wonderland won best costume design, The mother fucking Tempest should won that hands down!"

or:

"See I told you The Social Network was going to win best sound mixing, booyah! Drink up Biaatch."

Okay, so I will confess, I had to jump to a different site that listed all the nominees in order to order to reference those two lines. Also for the record me and the GF do not talk to each other like that. Well, at least she doesn't talk to me like that.

I mean, come on , very few of us give two shits about things like best sound mixing or best set design am I right? Sure, these things do play an important role when it comes making a a kick ass movie and those artists who work hard in the field of set design, sound editing and costume design definitely deserve some recognition from their peers and all that sincere sounding bullshit, but really come on, none of us hoi polloi really care.

We just want to dig into the main course.

We want to find out who won in the big categories, not the ones that are there to help make the losers feel better about themselves...

"Hey Kate,I will have you know Avatar won three Oscars!"

"Yeah I know James,you won for cinematography, Art Direction and Special Effects, so kiss my Best Director and Picture ass biaatch!"


According to mt research that is how Kate Bigelow and James Cameron do talk to each other.

So anyway, we tolerate these little appetizers, because we know people in Hollywood have low self esteem and also know that this Awards show needs a bit of filler in order to feel like more of an event other of our Ritz cracker entrees, but still we are all just waiting to hear about the big winners.

"Dude, if fucking Natalie Portman doesn't win, I swear to god I am going to shit my pants with rage!"

"I know dude, she totally nailed that Lesbo scene."



We are there to know about the best actors and actresses, the best director and of course the best damn picture. I mean, we do not go out there and watch The Social Network because it got nominated for the best adapted screenplay. I mean, who the fuck is Aaron Sorkin anyway? No, we put on the the top of your Netflix Que (its available by the way) because everyone is saying that its considered one of the favorites for Best Picture. It is probably the same reason we go to that one dingy little independent theater downtown in order to catch The King's Speech, not because its a shoe in for best set design.

Anyway, thats what I did.

So we pretty much got most of the contenders down now, with a few exceptions. I still haven't got around to seeing The Fighter yet. We also still need to check out that other lesbian couple flick (The kids are all right) and Winter's Bone and 127 Hours. Oh shit, I almost forgot about Toy Story 3. Crappers, when did they start picking so many nominees.

Damn I gotta go to the movies, I will get to this later.