The Contenders...

It's Oscar Week, but who really gives a fuck.

I certainly do not. Probably because I have not seen any of the nominated movies yet.

Wait a minute... was Transformers 3 nominated?

No?

That Harry Potter Movie, that was pretty awesome in 3D,  that had to be nominated, right?

No?

Google, google, google....

A Silent Film and  "Purple Rose of Cairo" ripoff are the front runners?

 WTF???

Actually, they both seem kind of interesting. I will have to put them on my Netflix Que. Somewhere near the middle, between some HBO Series that those assholes won't put on streaming and my ex-girlfriend's Japanese Horror Picks that I never removed because that seemed kind of cool (unlike Dawson's Creek which got tossed pronto).

So Anyway...

I will probably still watch the Oscars, not because I have a vested interest in who the fuck is going to win, but because I happen to like celebrity award shows. Don't you judge me. We all have our kinks. I probably will not pay to close attention though. But, it will most definitely be on  and I will probably look up once in a while to catch a glimpse of some of my favorite celebrities.

Tom Cruise and his cybernetic teeth....

Bradgelina with their vacant, hollow stares...

The token shot to some old fart that has been in just about everything...

This Chick, I Hope...

It is something to do on a Sunday Night anyway. Something to talk about around the old water cooler. Figuratively speaking of course. Who the fuck wants to hang around the water cooler like some weirdo? Especially when you do not even work in the office where you get your water from.

Super Commercials

Yet another Super Bowl has come and gone. Congratulations New York, way to beat Tom Brady and the Patriots into submission with solid defense and clock control.

But enough about the game.

Everyone knows that we watch the Super Bowl for the Commercials. In fact, I take my piss break during the game so I do not miss a single one of these 90 second long  celebrations of our hyper-consumerist society. Hooray for buying stuff! That is the only way we can be sure that the terrorists never win.

Sadly, the Golden Age of Super Bowl commercials has gone the way of the Budweiser Frogs. Back in the good old days, a Super Bowl Commercial was an event. Something that only happened during the Super Bowl and then talked about over the water cooler the next day.

"Hey Did You See that Crazy Orwellian Apple Commercial?"

"No Man, I had to take dump and totally missed it." 

"Dude, you should have turtled it. It was epic."

Nowadays, chances are pretty good that you are going to see these super duper bowl commercials over and over again until they start feeling like that one Daniel Powter Song. Heck, you might even catch the damn thing even before it airs during the big game, like Shatner's final take as the Priceline Negotiator. 

                                       

Is nothing sacred on Madison Avenue anymore?  

I personally found this year's crop of super commercials rather lame. Perhaps it was because I was not drinking during the game, but it did seem that all the ideas seemed a little played out. Coca Cola rolled out the Polar Bears for the umpteenth time, VW went overkill in trying to recreate the magic of its Kid Vader commercial from last year and everyone else seemed to simply throw in a celebrity and an alien and dare call the commercial "super". 

Super Lame that is. 

Okay, so maybe there were a few exceptions.

                                    

This one was pretty funny even though it was a bit sexist. What? Only dudes in denim drive trucks? You need at least one chevy driving chick if you want hope to repopulate the Earth. 

                                    

This other car commercial was also kind of funny. Take that you fucking vampires. I am glad they all blew up instead of  getting all rainbow sparkly like they do in Twilight.

                                    

Okay, I actually did not see this commercial (I was taking a dump) but checking out on You Tube Later, I thought it was pretty funny albeit both Ricky Gervais and Zombies are soo 2011. 

                                

This was, by far, the funniest commercial to come out during the Super Bowl. This commercial has everything: A Chinese Girl, a politician, rice patties, blatant xenophobic thinking. Budweiser could learn a lot from Congressman Hoekstra.