Poor Beany, She is not looking to hot right now. Like she has just spent the last month snorting crystal meth and getting dp'ed by a pack Frat Boys. Her leaves are all droopy, brown and wrinkled, as if they belong in a 1970's era National Geographic magazine. Even her new growth is looking like crap.
I don't know what I did wrong...
She might have gotten cold, or perhaps the low humidity of the very un tropical bay area is fucking with her look. I tried taking a shower with her last night, letting her soak up the steamy heat as I washed my hair, scrubbed my back and touched myself as I cried gently beneath the steaming cascade of water that washed away my sticky tears.
This performance did nothing for her.
Perhaps it is more than just the cold dry winter...
There was that incident with the heater that damaged her on one side, forcing me to give her a little trim. After the trim, she seemed a bit lopsided, so I did a bit more trimming. All this cutting might of shocked her. I also may have been sprinkling her with too much of my self made fertilizer water (not a sexual innuendo, but a reference to bong water). I might of threw her PH off, and not I need to get her the plant equivalent of Vagisil. It also might be some sort of fungus.
It might be because, like OBGYN's during the Bush Administration, I might have "practiced my love" on beany a bit too much this winter. I have been giving her a lot of love in the form of steady light and waterings. Perhaps I need to lay off a bit and she will spring back.
